Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
