i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
