the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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