At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
