Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
