why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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