It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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