the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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