This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
