He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize