I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I touched a dick in church today
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
