These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
