She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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