O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
