I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
