So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
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She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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