Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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