She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
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He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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