oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
