I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
