you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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