Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
