Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
