I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
false alarm, still single
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
