new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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