I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
