i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
