Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
