I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
