what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
And then my night got REAL pukey
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
