Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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