you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
