Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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