Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
