i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
