I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
