Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
