i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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