Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
