dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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