he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
