No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
