don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
