Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize