So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Edward fifth and chaser hands
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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