it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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