I want to stick my p in your. b.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
what day is it and did you see me today?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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