in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Holy sore nipples Batman
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
