she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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