Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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