After last night, I could never be a politician.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
