i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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