seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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