honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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