He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
