The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
