So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
