oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize