I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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