she was so not down for the gang bang
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
