Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
