WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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