yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
