Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
