the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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