i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Randomize
