I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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